The media often depicts sexual behaviors as very intense and serious. In addition, many people focus more on performance than on pleasure when it comes to sex. People can forget, therefore, how fun sex is. It is important, however, for couples to remember the fun aspect of sex. It is perfectly acceptable to explore fantasies, relationship-enhancing toys, or anything else, if everyone in the relationship is comfortable doing so. At the very least, couples should be able to express openly the joy that comes from having a pleasurable sexual experience. Every person in a relationship needs to determine for them what is and is not “fun” when it comes to sex.

Would looking for ways to have better sex after years of good sex with your partner be sinfully greedy? From the averted gazes, blushes, and giggles that so many people produce when sex toys are mentioned, you would think increasing sexual joy past some legal limit truly breaks a law. No way by nature, human beings are game players and tool users. We enjoy inventing recreational activities that enhance our abilities to do required tasks: accurate javelin throwing and bringing down dinner-on-the-hoof have something important in common. So, too, game-like sexual fantasies, whether all in the mind or role-played with costumes and props, “tools” if you will, are natural extensions of a healthy desire to heighten pleasure and enrich sexual relationships.

1) Vibrators have a place among the tools that people use to improve their sexual skills, increase their own and their partners’ pleasure, and add joy to their sex lives. Most female orgasms depend on clitoral stimulation, and vibrators provide the most intense clitoral stimulation possible. In lovemaking with a partner, vibrators work best as a complement to other sexual stimuli. Using a vibrator does not reduce the sensual pleasure of direct body contact, of skin on skin, of mouths and tongues, of hands or genitals.

2) Aim for the G-Spot - G-spot vibrators are now available and designed to stimulate what has been described as the G-spot located on the upper wall of many women’s vaginas. The surface of the G-spot tends to feel rough to the touch and, like erectile tissue in the penis; it may become firm and swell when stimulated. Once the G-spot is found any stimulation will help, a finger or penis works great.

3) Dildos have been around since the dawn of humanity and probably will be for a while longer. Made of pliant silicone these days, they can be used for vaginal or anal penetration and come in every configuration you might think of and many you probably would not. For safety, dildos intended for anal use should have a flared base. Prosthetic penile aides are hollow dildos, usually made of latex, and can be worn by either males or females. They are held on with adjustable elastic straps.  A “universal harness” designed for any dildo or penile aide with a flared base, are also made. Dildos can be fun with oral sex. As the man pleasures the woman, he can stimulate her clitoris with his tongue and use the dildo in her vagina to reach the G-spot. For women during oral sex on a man a dildo can be used anally, if so desired.

4) Lubricants add a sensual slickness to sexual stimulation. Many are odorless, tasteless, and non-staining, and some are edible. Others warm up when you blow on them, a tasteful way to create a hot environment. However, use only water-based lubes; oil-based lubricants destroy the latex used in condoms, dams, and diaphragms. Many lubricants are designed for multiple tasks, massage, eatable, vaginal lubrication, and more.

5) Sex toys include products such as positioning pillows, “smittens” (textured mittens), tranquility balls, safe sex kits, guides, books, erotic videos, feathers, games, leather accessories and various attachments for the nipples and genitals. There are many toys available for bondage aficionados. Most catalogs offer blindfolds, some lined in fake fur, buckled or hook-and-loop restraints, slappers and handcuffs. These are great for creating some fantasy play between long time partners.

6) Dress-up clothes are a great way to add spice to one’s sex life. Many lingerie stores sell sexy outfits for a fun evening. There is also fantasy out fits, such as a schoolgirls uniform, nurse, cowboy, policeman, and doctors. These products are fun and sassy and definitely add a thrill to the romance.

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